Caitlin Moran, How to Be A Woman
Lines and greyness are nature’s way of telling you not to fuck with someone - the equivalent of the yellow and black banding on a wasp, or the markings on the back of a black widow spider. Lines are your weapons against idiots. Lines are your ‘KEEP AWAY FROM THE WISE INTOLERANT WOMAN’ sign.
When I get ‘old’ (59 - I reckon 59 is old) I personally intend to bomb around town with white hair fully two foot wide, looking like one of the Wild Women of Wonga, SHOUTING about how I can feel my cells dying, and ordering doubles to help me forget it. I’m not going to spend £50,000 on dying my hair, pumping up my tits, resurfacing my face and pretending I’m a dewy virgin shepherdess, off to seek my first tumble at the bridal fair.